How to Make Divorce Easier on Your Children

Divorced parents doing child drop off to father - make divorce easier on your child concept
Divorce doesn’t only affect the spouses who are involved — it can have a significant impact on the couple’s children. Unfortunately, when parents are so consumed with the divorce process, they can sometimes forget that their children are affected by it, too. In addition to the emotional and economic toll divorce can take, children may also have a hard time adjusting to a new living situation, schedule, and school. Remember that when you’re going through the divorce process, the needs of your children should be first and foremost. Here are a few ways to help make divorce easier on your children:

Don’t Speak Negatively About Your Spouse in Front of the Children

Emotions run high in divorce. But it’s crucial not to air your anger and resentment toward your spouse to your children or speak negatively about them in front of the children. In addition, children should not be used as messengers to convey information to either parent. Children should not be involved in their parents’ issues — it’s vital to let them continue their routines and to shield them from adult problems as much as possible to make the divorce easier on them.

Focus on Creating an Effective Parenting Plan to Make the Divorce Easier for Your Children

No matter how much conflict you face with your spouse, it’s vital to set aside your differences to develop a solid parenting plan. Creating an effective parenting plan is critical to ensure your children receive developmentally appropriate parenting — and can bond with each parent. A good parenting plan should be detailed, age-appropriate, and meet the best interests of the child.

Consider Mediation to Keep Conflict at a Minimum

Although mediation isn’t always right for every situation, it can offer several advantages — especially for divorcing couples who share children. Mediation can provide a low-conflict method of divorce that can help couples move through the process more efficiently and cost-effectively. Keeping conflict to a minimum will help make the divorce process as easy as possible for your children. Often, spouses who utilize mediation may be able to avoid the courtroom entirely. This can help alleviate stress and protracted litigation which can ultimately have an adverse impact on children. Mediation can also allow spouses to find creative and tailored solutions for child custody, support, and other matters that will affect the children.

Choose the Collaborative Divorce Process

Collaborative divorce is a method of divorce that utilizes a team of professionals who can assist spouses with different issues that arise during the divorce process. Because spouses must agree to participate in the collaborative process, it provides a healthier and less contentious way to legally end a marriage. In doing so, it can reduce the emotional impact of divorce on children. Notably, couples who choose collaborative divorce can work with divorce coaches, child custody experts, and mental health professionals on their team to ensure they reach a positive resolution for the issues that affect the whole family.

Strive to Cooperate as Co-Parents

Throughout the legal process — and after the divorce has been finalized — it’s essential to establish a good co-parenting relationship based on mutual respect with the other parent. Even if you do not get along with your ex-spouse, it’s important to put your differences aside to focus on the welfare of your children. A healthy co-parenting relationship will put your child at ease during and after your divorce. Making the choice to co-parent, rather than fight, is paramount to ensure your children’s needs come first. By being able to communicate with the other parent in a healthy manner, you will have an easier time discussing schedules, visitation, activities, and upcoming events that both parents will be attending.

Try to Maintain the Child’s Current Routine to Help Make the Divorce Easier for Your Children

Sometimes, divorce requires major life changes for the children. This can include moving houses, switching schools, becoming familiar with another neighborhood, and making new friends. However, it’s best for children to make as few changes to their routine as possible. Even if their home environment is different, try to maintain their routine as best you can. For instance, after school activities, family mealtime, sports, and traditions should continue to give the child a sense of normalcy.

Remind Your Children That You’re There for Them

It’s important for your children to understand that the divorce isn’t their fault. Let your children know that you’re there if they need to talk and reassure them that you will continue to take care of them. Be a good listener and let them process their emotions at their own pace. Your children love each of their parents and divorce can be scary, overwhelming, and confusing — take the time to speak with the children together and make sure they know that both of you will be there for them.

Contact a Compassionate Oregon Divorce Attorney to Help Make Your Divorce Easier on You and Your Children

If you’re thinking about divorce, it’s essential to be aware that there are ways you can help to make it less stressful for yourself and your children. Based in Salem, Litowich Law provides clients throughout Oregon with customized solutions for their divorces. We welcome you to contact us for a consultation to learn how we can help.
Categories: Child Custody, Divorce